How to Survive Vacation with a Toddler: Getting There

This is the second post in a series about my tips for making vacationing with a toddler a success. If you missed the first post, you can find it here.

The aspect of our trip that gave Wes and I the most anxiety beforehand was the actual process of traveling there and back. You see, Sarah Parker went through a phase from around age 6-10 months where she would scream bloody murder any time we were in a moving vehicle, so our nervousness was justified. The only way to make her somewhat content (but still not happy) was for someone to sit in the back with her- that someone being momma. At this point when we looked toward the coming months of road trips and vacations, it seemed like the task of getting there was going to be impossible. We thought back to our road trips last year with our two-week old who literally slept the whole ride there and burned with jealousy for our former selves. Happily, Sarah Parker began slowly growing out of this phase just in time for our trip, but I still knew that riding 5 hours would be hard on her. So, just like with packing, I devised a plan to try to keep any major meltdowns at bay.

What I Planned

I thought that the best tactic would be to mix familiarity with novelty. The months before our trip we had been slowly weaning Spark off of needing me in the back seat with her, but for this trip I decided that it was best for me to sit with her and help her find ways to be entertained. I keep a few toys in our car under normal circumstances, and so I decided those would be my first items to grab if and when the baby got antsy. My next approach was to offer items out of what I lovingly dubbed the "Bag O' Fun".

This bag was a wonderful gift to us! You can't tell in the picture, but it is monogrammed with SP's initials. I was so excited to use it for the first time, and can't wait to watch Spark use it in the years to come. For a similar toddler-sized bag, look here.

Again, inside the Bag O' Fun I added a mix of things Sarah Parker was familiar with, and new things that she hadn't seen yet. Here is a glimpse at what was inside.

The books I packed were old favorites- ones that had extra entertaining value because they popped up, or had slide bits.  I purchased the Color Wonder markers (those are the kind that only marks on paper!) and puzzle new for this trip. 

                                              

And then I had a very special pocket that contained the big guns: bubbles and Play-Doh (notice that the Play-Doh is white...I'm not that crazy!). Now, I know these aren't conventional options for car rides as they both could potentially cause a mess, but I was completely willing to risk that as I knew these were Sarah Parker's favorite things to play with. And when would she ever get to do either of those things in the car? It sounded exciting to me, and I knew she would love it too! I decided only to open this pocket if things got really dicey.

Spoiler alert: it did. 

What Really Happened

We decided to leave around 5:30 am with the hopes that Sarah Parker would go right back to sleep. She ended up not falling back to sleep until 6:30, but was quiet and still sleepy up until that point. We played her favorite nursery rhyme CD on loop for most of the ride, so she was happy just listening to the music at first.

She slept until we stopped for breakfast around 7:15 and ended up not sleeping any more for the rest of the trip (insert big eyed, shocked emoji here). She was generally happy for the rest of the trip. She quickly went through her usual car toys, and enjoyed the activities in the Bag O' Fun. I pretty much let her play with anything that entertained her! 

Our Blankie and Sis were with us all of the way!

Yes, this is my daughter wearing funky shades and chewing on an empty bottle of Gas Drops. You do whatever is necessary to keep a toddler entertained for five hours of being strapped into a car seat. 

The Play-Doh and bubbles were hands down the biggest hit. When she was at her wits end, I whipped out one of those and it would make her happy when most of the other toys would just make her content. She didn't have to play with these things long- just enough to get her to calm down.

Of course, there were a few break downs that even bubble and Play-Doh couldn't help. As I previously mentioned, Spark was running on very little sleep. She did a remarkable job, but towards the end she was sleepy and cranky. For those moments, Wes downloaded some of Spark's favorite nursery rhyme videos on the iPad. I always feel guilty letting Sarah Parker watching these videos, but for this ride it really was a necessity. I would only let her watch two or three songs at a time to calm herself down and then direct her attention elsewhere.

What I'll Do Next Time

I definitely will be using the same approach next road trip, but with a few changes. Sarah Parker really was too young to fully appreciate the markers and puzzle. In hindsight, it would have been best to fill up that bag space with something more age-appropriate. She played with the puzzle pieces and the markers, but not in the way she was "supposed" to. Knowing what I know now, I would have packed stickers instead of markers and would have swapped the puzzle for some shoestrings (Spark LOVES playing with these) and other, smaller toys. Everything else in the bag was a hit- especially the bubble and the Play-Doh, so I will certainly be including them in the Bag O' Fun for future trips. Sarah Parker's joy was worth more than the risk of making a mess! I also hope to use the iPad less and less on these trips. As I said earlier, we didn't end up using it much, but I would still rather her not look at it at all. As she gets older and is better able to keep herself entertained, I hope to keep the iPad turned off on road trips! All things considered, Sarah Parker did a great job and had some fun before the REAL fun began!

How to Survive Vacation with a Toddler: Packing

When we started planning our summer vacation at the beginning of the year, Wes and I decided we wanted to be intentional about making it successful trip and make the transition as easy as possible on Sarah Parker. Last year we went to the beach for a few days with my family when Spark was only two weeks old. We also vacationed with Wes' family for, again, only a few days when she was a month old. We had hardly any issues with her last year, but we knew this year would be different because 1) we were staying a whole week and 2) she had a whole year's more worth of personality this year. We began discussing every detail we could come up with at length and tried to tackle any potential issue before we left rather than at the seashore.

Naturally, I began to think about packing first. Again, I wanted to do all the leg work before our trip, so I began to research toddler packing methods. I found a few videos and articles about packing each individual outfit in a gallon-sized Ziploc bag. Out of every method, I liked this one best. I was able to intentionally plan out each outfit that Sarah Parker would wear (hair bow and all!) so that when we were at the beach, we could just grab one and go.

We stayed for 7 days, so I decided to pack 10 outfits, just in case there were any accidents. I packed 5 "comfy" outfits and intended to pack 5 "dressy" outfits, but I couldn't decide on just 5 so I ended up packing 6. 

Y'all. I loved this method, and I foresee using it until Spark's clothes don't fit in the bags anymore. It was so nice to just grab a bag and not have to think about matching or functionality. Most days I even gave Sarah Parker an option between two or three of the bags and let her pick her outfit. We ended up not needing two of the outfits, and they stayed unspoiled from sand or dirty clothes being nice and sealed up in their protective bags. Then, when we got home and were living in piles of laundry, it was so nice to have those two extra outfits ready to wear. Also, I saved the bags so I can reuse them next trip!

In the picture above you can see how nicely the bags fit in Spark's little suitcase. I will mention that under the bags I packed two towels and four sets of pajamas. In the top zip part I had her bathing suits and hats, along with a waterproof laundry bag to put the family's dirty clothes in.

I also went ahead and bought all of the supplies I could at home and toted them with us on our trek. I took a whole box of regular diapers, a bag of swimmy diapers, and a three pack of wipes. This proved to be much more than we actually needed, but that is what I intended to happen. If you were trying to pack the least amount of diaper supplies possible, you could definitely get away with one bag of regular diapers, one bag of swimmies, and one pack of wipes. I also went ahead and bought a box of Cheerios (Spark's favorite snack), packs of oatmeal and grits, and baby sunscreen. It was so nice only having to buy our fresh food supplies once we got to the beach!

In retrospect, I honestly would not change one thing regarding the packing aspect. It went so smoothly and ended up saving a lot of stress and time while we were vacationing!

Hand-Me-Downs?

When someone asks if you'll take hand-me-downs
(Because they will)
Know that they aren't offering you mere rags.
They are handing over hours of washing,
Folding,
Smelling Dreft-scented baby socks
Picturing each precious outfit
And the one that will fill it.

They are handing down three
Outfit changes a day because
Diapers don't always do their jobs
And little bellies can't hold much milk.

They are passing along countless hours of
Sorting out for new sizes and
Different seasons.
Pennies scraped, coupons used,
Sales found.

They are gifting you with hours of
Spray and Wash
On pants that clothe crawling knees
(Which always find more dirt than the
Vacuum cleaner) that turn into
Walking feet, and then running,
Dancing, skipping, jumping, and a whole
Lot of new, different stains.

It's a gift for you, but also
An admission to themselves that their babies
Are no longer babies and that
Sometimes seasons end quicker than
We thought they would.

Every thread, rip,
Stain, stitch, press is a seed in the ground-
A prayer for the days to come and
A glimpse of the memories made. They
Pass along that seed to you now,
Their harvest far from complete.
They plant bigger, better
Things to come.

When someone asks if you'll take hand-me-downs
(Because they will),
Say "It would be an honor."
Because it is.

What I Do All Day- My Housework Schedule

I am the type of person that works best with a schedule, so when I began thinking about how to best utilize my time as a stay-at-home-mom/homemaker, I knew that creating a weekly schedule would be the best approach. This schedule is really a way to hold myself accountable and to make sure that everything that needs to get done each week will. This schedule is very flexible- in fact, when my husband reads this I am sure he will laugh because some (okay, most) weeks not all of this gets done (i.e. making the bed...yeah, that never happens). I feel like this gives me a high yet obtainable goal, though, so I am satisfied with it.  Feel free to use this schedule or tweak it to make it fit your life! Happy cleaning!

I'm a Different Type of Mother Than I Thought I Would Be

I've always been a big proponent of tough love. As I read back over those words, I realize how ridiculous they sound, but they are still true nonetheless. I love tough love. I remember my mother-in-law telling a story of when we were both volunteering in the nursery, far before her son and I even thought about dating. Apparently, one child was doing something I thought they shouldn't be and I was able to make him stop just by giving him "the look". She told me this to assure me that she knew I was going to be a good mother, though maybe just a touch harsh. I took it as a compliment at the time.

I've worked with children for the majority of my life and have always had a no-monkey-business philosophy. I wanted all of them to enjoy themselves in the freedom of my guidelines, no doubt, but if any of them were to step out of bounds I have never been afraid to get a little mean to get my point across.

When I became pregnant and began focusing on how I was going to parent my child, I fell back on this tough love philosophy. Co-sleeping? Never. Cry it out method? Probably. Eating on demand? No, I will need a schedule. I was fully convinced that I would have this baby trained in only a few weeks (insert laugh track here).

I'll give you the perfect example. Throughout my pregnancy, it seemed like people were obsessed  concerned with where my baby would sleep once she was born. My grandma sweetly persisted that I take the cradle she had in her basement. My mother asked if I wanted a rock-and-play sleeper to put the baby in. Several people offered me Moses baskets. To each person, I politely declined.
"No thanks," I would say, "I am just going to put her in her crib from the start. Her room is only a few steps from ours, and that way she won't get attached sleeping anywhere else." I knew it would be harder on the baby, but I thought it would be easier for me and everyone else in the long run.

Then, on June 16th, 2015 the nurse handed me my 8 pound 1 ounce baby girl and the Lord changed every parenting notion I ever had.

The day we were set to come home from the hospital, I called my mom nearly in tears.
"Mom, I have just been thinking about when we come home, and her room is so far away and it is so hot up there. Do you think you could pick up one of the rock-n-play sleeper things?"

Sarah Parker slept right beside me in her sleeper until she outgrew it. Then, I asked Wes to move her crib right next to our bed so she could sleep there. Now that she is bigger, most nights she ends up in the bed with us. So much for tough love.

My parenting ideal changes have not stopped at just sleeping arrangements. Google "attachment parenting", and you will probably find a picture of me and my child glued to my hip or in her Tula carrier. I frankly am astonished at how God has used Spark to change my heart. Even my mother says "you are a lot sweeter than I thought you would be." Now THAT is something I take as a compliment now!

Don't get me wrong, I know that tough love is needed because it is a form of love. I am sure that as we transition into the toddler years, I will have to get a little mean at times for the sake of disciplining and molding my child into a godly woman. I also know that I won't always get the balance of tough and sweet love, or judgment and grace, if you will, right every time. But, when I do inevitably fail, I hope that more times than not I err on the side of grace.